Cary native Kirstin Elrod shines in her new role as Miss North Carolina 2004, gearing up to compete for Miss America this Fall.

By Christa Gala

            When Kirstin (Kear-stin) Elrod competed in her first pageant just four years ago for the Miss Garner title, she saw nothing wrong with wearing one of her high school prom dresses for the evening gown competition. And while it’s easy to imagine the other contestants snickering behind well-manicured hands, the laughing stopped when Elrod was announced first runner-up.

            She’s come a long way since then. On June 26^th, up against 29 promising young women from across the state, Elrod was crowned Miss North Carolina 2004 at Memorial Auditorium.  She leaves September 1^st to represent the state at the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City, New Jersey, televised nationwide on September 18^th. 

Gaining confidence

            Although stunningly beautiful, Kirstin Elrod just doesn’t fit the stereotype of a pageant contestant—a stereotype, she says, she is determined to dispel. In fact, Elrod is especially grounded. She’s studied foreign languages for ten years; participated at Cary High School in the Key Club and S.A.D.D. (Students Against Drunk Driving); and for years was a dedicated member of the choir at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.

 “I didn’t grow up doing pageants,” says Elrod. “I just thought it was a world away from me, so far removed. It wasn’t even like I wanted to be Miss America because it just didn’t enter my mind as a possibility. I didn’t think I was capable of it.”

Elrod’s induction into the pageant scene was somewhat of a fluke. Graduating from Cary High School in 1999, she was accepted into the North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston-Salem to study opera. Back home in Cary after her first year in college, Elrod realized she needed more help funding her education.

            “The summer after my freshman year, I went to a search engine and typed in ‘college scholarships’ and it pulled up the Miss America organization, which is the number one scholarship provider in the world for young women,” says Elrod. In fact, last year alone, the organization awarded $45 million in college assistance across the nation.            But Elrod didn’t know that at the time. She simply scrolled down the screen and clicked on “North Carolina,” then sent an email indicating her interest. Several months passed. Elrod had forgotten the email completely until one day she received a phone call regarding directions to rehearsals for the Miss Garner pageant.

“I sort of thought, ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ I just wanted information, but I guess they assumed I wanted to enter,” says Elrod. (Since Cary doesn’t have a pageant, eligible contestants for the Miss Garner competition can live anywhere in Wake County.)

            Although it’s hard to believe now, that first pageant gave Kirstin a badly-needed dose of confidence and self esteem. Her first year at the School of the Arts, packed with so many talented students, had taken her ego for a rough ride.

“I just wasn’t special there,” Elrod says. “I wasn’t an underachiever, but by no means was I the star of anything. And so it was really kind of a time where I didn’t have much self-confidence, and I just didn’t believe in myself. I really was very down on myself. So the fact that I got such positive feedback from this (pageant) showed me that maybe I was talented, maybe I did have something to offer.”

A committee of dedicated individuals is generally responsible for organizing pageants. The committee for the Miss Garner pageant, says Elrod, was extremely supportive, urging her to continue competing, mentioning an upcoming Miss Raleigh competition.

But a conversation with the mother of a former Miss North Carolina convinced Elrod to step back and think about things. The woman advised Elrod not to compete in the Miss Raleigh competition because she was afraid Elrod would win, and then would go on to compete for Miss North Carolina. The woman didn’t want Elrod to compete for that title until she was more experienced and truly ready to win it. Elrod took her advice.

“I went to other preliminary pageants just to see what it takes to be a winner,” she says. Sitting in the audience, Kirstin would try to pick the winner herself. What did it take to graduate from runner-up to winner? She worked on her community service platform and practiced interviewing, learning to look people directly in the eye and to avoid filling in silences with ‘um’ and ‘like.’ 

            “So I spent that year getting ready, and the next year I went back and won. So I was Miss Garner in 2002, and I went to the Miss North Carolina pageant (in 2002), and I was the fourth runner-up.”

            Clearly, Elrod was making progress. Where could she go from here?

A hometown girl

            Many Cary residents are probably familiar with Elrod—or at least her voice. Throughout her childhood, she’s given performances with certain groups at spots all over Cary, including Cary Towne Center and Barnes and Noble. The fact that she graduated in May with a degree in operatic performance from the North Carolina School of the Arts often still shocks her.

            Elrod’s mother, Sharon Farrell, used to tell people Kirstin would someday grow up to be an opera singer—namely because as an infant, she cried so hard and loud and, her mother insists, with rhythm.

“Growing up, even though she was telling people that, I never believed it,” says Elrod. “If someone could have sent me a snapshot of my life now, back then I wouldn’t have believed it. I hated opera; she would play it in the house, and I couldn’t stand it. I would close my door and play something else.”

            But Kirstin did love to sing. As it turns out, other people liked to hear her sing too. She started singing in the church choir at St. Paul’s and by the time she was seven years old, she was attending a weeklong choral camp sponsored by the diocese. An anonymous church member paid Kirstin’s way for five summers, wanting her to have the opportunity that might have been difficult for her mother to afford as a single parent.

Once in high school, Elrod decided it was time to turn up the volume regarding her musical potential. She auditioned and was accepted in the N.C. Governor’s School for Choral Music.

“I wanted to go to the Governor’s School with every fiber of my being,” she says. “I had heard about it, and I was so determined to get in. I just wanted it more than anything. So I started taking voice lessons to prepare for that audition.”

            After high school, Kirstin chose to go to the North Carolina School of the Arts, even though her mother questioned the decision, thinking Kirstin might get more benefit from a larger university. But Kirstin stood firm.

            She chose the school because, unlike a university, the North Carolina School of the Arts was a conservatory and it was likely she would receive more personal attention from teachers, in addition to support and encouragement to audition, even if it meant taking time off from school. Conservatories have a vested interest in seeing their students work in their craft—that’s the ultimate goal.

Eventually, an audition landed her a six-month contract with an acting company in Pennsylvania, and Elrod took a professional leave of absence from school. She played an Italian princess at a Renaissance Fair.

 “I packed up my car and drove there all by myself,” Kirstin says. “I felt so independent and so capable. That experience, those six months, taught me an incredible amount about myself and did show me what I’m capable of, in terms of getting myself together and taking this professional job and doing a great job with it.

 “I learned a tremendous amount about the way I’m perceived by other people, which isn’t always the way that I think I am,” she continues. “I learned a valuable lesson about what people would think about me being in pageants too.”

She heard all kinds of comments. One of her fellow actors remarked that Kirstin didn’t seem ‘stupid’ even though she had competed in pageants. Time and time again, she became frustrated with the stereotypes and judgments.

Making a decision

             Back at school after she finished her acting contract, Elrod decided she would go back to compete for the title of Miss North Carolina—but only when she was ready.

 “I told myself that if I ever went back that I would go back to win,” says Elrod. In 2003, she competed and won the title of Miss Carolina Foothills, which led to her second Miss North Carolina pageant this past June. Kirstin knew the interviewing and talent portions would likely determine whether she made the top ten.

“There was incredible competition. I competed with 29 other young women that were just wonderful, with amazing talents and credentials,” she says. “I thought, ‘I can’t hold anything back.’”

 During the week of the pageant, contestants were sequestered from the public while staying in dorm rooms at Peace College. Each night they were able to visit with their family members for just thirty minutes, but no cell phones or other visitation was allowed.

“Everyone was really incredibly supportive all week,” says Elrod. “My brother isn’t always supportive of pageants, but during that week he was amazingly supportive.” He wasn’t the only family member who was a little dubious of Kirstin’s involvement in pageants. 

“My mother, the first time I did a pageant, she said ‘What are you thinking?’ But since then, she’s become incredibly supportive, making clothes for me for Miss North Carolina; I think she’d do anything for me at this point,” says Elrod.

She says she is constantly trying to battle the stereotype that pageants are all about nails, perfect hair and swimsuits.

“People think that until they actually see one. My father thought that and didn’t really support me doing pageants, but then he reluctantly came to Miss North Carolina the first time to see me compete and now he has a completely different view of it,” says Elrod.     

“The one thing that people think is demeaning more than anything is the swimsuit competition. But I’ll tell you I’m in the best shape of my life right now because of the swimsuit competition,” says Elrod, who, to prepare for this year’s competition, took 2 exercise classes twice a week and spent 15 additional hours in the gym running, lifting weights and doing yoga. “I really worked hard.”

            Kirstin not only made top ten, but at the end of the week, she found herself standing on stage with the top five contestants. One of the women would be crowned Miss North Carolina. 

 “This sense of calm came over me, and I wasn’t nervous at all,” she remembers. “I was just standing there and very resigned to the fact that it was done, the decision had been made, and that I was going to hear what it was.”

            What happened was that she didn’t hear her name, which meant she wasn’t fourth runner-up as she’d been two years ago. Then she didn’t hear her name for third runner-up, or second or first. She’d won—Miss North Carolina 2004.

What does it mean?

            Winning the title of Miss North Carolina means many things. Elrod received $12,000 in college scholarships for winning and will also receive $5,000 for competing in the Miss America pageant, as do all contestants. She stands to win even more if she places, wins, or achieves special recognition at the national pageant.  

Kirstin also speaks to residents all over the state regarding her Miss North Carolina service platform—counteracting chemical and substance abuse. She chose the topic largely for two reasons: one, because of her involvement with the D.A.R.E. program; and two, because she’s known people who’ve faced the issue.

“I went through the D.A.R.E. program when I was in school, and I just always loved it. I personally got a lot out of it,” says Elrod. In college, Kirstin became frustrated watching other students harm themselves with drugs and alcohol.

“It’s painful to care about people who don’t care about themselves, and I’ve been in that situation more than once,” she says. “So I’m really passionate about talking to people before they encounter that. I also want to talk to parents because they have the most profound effect on their children, especially during a child’s formative years.”

She’s already spoken to both the North Carolina Senate and House of Representatives, in addition to YMCAs, schools, and boys’ and girls’ clubs throughout the state.

Competing in Miss America also means Elrod will get to showcase her musical talents on stage in front of 12,000 people, not to mention a national television audience. And the journey to winning the title of Miss North Carolina has taught her about herself.

 “When you compete like this, you just have to get to know yourself and trust yourself,” Elrod says. “So no matter what comes at you, all you have to do is look inside yourself for the answer.

“The biggest thing is you have to believe that you can do it. You just have to know that you’re capable of it. It’s not that I’m any more special than anyone else. I say that about winning Miss North Carolina. It doesn’t mean I’m more intelligent or more talented than anyone else. It just means I was right for the job. As a young woman, you just have to know what you’re capable of. There are, I think, vast expanses of untouched potential in young women. We’re capable of so much.”

After the fact

            Kirstin Elrod, her term as Miss North Carolina 2004 just beginning, isn’t giving too much thought about what will come when she’s finished. “Right now, I’m thinking about right now,” she says. “I firmly believe that in order to make the most of my time, I have to live in it.”

She’s not without a plan, however. Kirstin recently auditioned at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, with campuses in both New York and Los Angeles. She was accepted and offered a scholarship for musical theater. Elrod hopes one day to pursue a bilingual film career.

“I have a real sense of urgency about getting into my profession and taking auditions,” Elrod says. “But I’m by no means a finished product. There’s a lot of training I want to pursue.”